i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
