and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
