Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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