I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
