Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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