...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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