Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
