We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
