just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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