Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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