how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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