That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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