That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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