So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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