At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
