and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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