Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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