one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
