i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize