In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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