So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
