Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
