with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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