Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
