You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
