i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
