he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize