trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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