We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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