I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
