There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
