I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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