Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
