A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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