After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
