Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
