I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
