dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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