The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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