I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
