omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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