I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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