Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
