Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
