i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
