sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
