She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize