I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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