did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
