You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
