im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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