I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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