Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
