I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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