I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Alive.
So much puke
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
