She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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