the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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