And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
