So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
