I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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