actually, I'm a sock model
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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