OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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