i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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