this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
