his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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