I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
