I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
