so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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