he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
