I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
